My Guiding Stars

Before I even began my running journey I knew that, as a totally blind person, I’d require the assistance of guide runners. I was quite anxious about this and for many years, the idea of requiring a guide really put me off.

My anxieties were partly down to logistics…where would I find guide runners? Would I have to pay for them? Would anyone actually want to run with me? Would we both require training? How much time would that take? If I did find a guide, would they even be willing to match me in my Great North Run ambition?

On top of that, I had some emotional anxieties too. What if I found a guide but we didn’t get along? What if the guide who ran with me was just doing so because they had to, either out of financial necessity, or because parkrun told them to. As blind people, we often experience situations where we require sighted guides. For example, when navigating a train station or a busy airport. This assistance can be very hit and miss. It often doesn’t appear at all even when you book it. When it does show up, those providing it are either significantly over-familiar, wanting to know the ins and outs of your eye condition, or seem rushed, stressed; as though providing this service is the last thing they want to do. For most visually impaired people, we long to find activities we can engage in fully independently without a sense of obligation or duty to anyone.

It was with some trepidation, that I approached parkrun, and began my first run with a sighted guide. As I’ve written here before, I needn’t have worried at all. Guide running has been an incredible blessing in my life and has taught me so much. It was definitely difficult at first but the more I run and experiment with different guides and environments the more I learn. 

You might wonder why the huge 180 degree shift on my part? There are so many reasons. I’m pleased to say that my guide runners turned all of my perceptions on their heads.

The first thing that shocked me was their willingness. As Nik and I have said, parkrun is managed by volunteers, that includes those who guide run. Everyone who has shown up to guide me has done so under their own volition. This humbled me in ways I truly cannot express. People do not have to run with me; they actively choose to. That is incredible.  It instils within me a real sense of accountability too; even on the coldest, wettest days of the Scottish Winter, I knew someone had got out of bed to run with me. They showed up for me so I showed up too.

Guide runners who have run with me have all been different. I admit I did feel nervous about this to begin with but yet again, I was proven so wrong. Running with different people has taught me so much. Some of my guides have been seasoned race runners. They have coached me and given me amazing tips on how to improve my performance with many helping me secure new personal bests (PB).

Some seem nervous of guiding so we start off with quite a slow run. As we both settle into the run, I feel them relax and we both start flying over the track.  It is a beautiful thing to witness.

Some of my guides, just like me, enjoy a good chat and a laugh, and that is our focus as we run. Working with different guides has built my confidence, and has been an amazing way to get to know my wider parkrun community, forming the lasting bonds of friendship.

While I have run with a wide variety of incredible guides, Nik and I have run the most together. We jelled as soon as we met. Having run a few half marathons before, she immediately volunteered to be my guide. She messaging me the very same day to sort out training runs. We knew we were attempting something new and ambitious, and we also knew we’d have to take our guide work to another level.

We are blessed at our home parkrun with an almost uniform track, and as everyone knows us, we get a clear run almost every week, with little to no obstacles.

The Great North Run would not function like that so we signed up for some local races, mostly 10K events, to get me accustomed to the busy nature of a race day. We also began practising on other routes in and around the local park to get me used to roads, traffic, and different types of terrain.

I have definitely found this difficult.  My run often slows as I try to adjust my perception to different sounds, crowds etc. My feet seem to land heavier on new surfaces as I try to explore them, subconsciously working to avoid trip hazards and falls. Working this way has meant Nik and I have had to build up a great deal of trust. I must trust her to tell me what I need to know about the environment to avoid injury. Equally, Nik has to trust me to let her know of anything I’m struggling with, or any information I might need more or less of on unfamiliar terrain. This is a balance we don’t always get right but only through running and practise are we able to fine tune it to work for each of us.

Working in such an intensive way develops a very special bond by default; it has to. There are things Nik knows of me that no one else does. Working so closely means she has seen me at my best, my worst; and my most vulnerable. While some might find that scary, I’ve found it deeply empowering and liberating. When I run, I’m running with a true friend, who knows my strengths, weaknesses, fears and emotional hang-ups. When I’m flagging, Nik knows me well enough to know if I’m genuinely fatigued, or just having a moment of mental doubt. Having this knowledge means she’s been able to coach me from 5 to 10K and beyond, distances I never thought I’d achieve when I began running in October.

When Nik went down with an ankle injury a few weeks ago; I was deeply worried for her; and for our running ambitions; but as ever, she was several steps ahead of me.

Before she even told me of her accident, she had contacted the parkrun family, securing guides to help me with our pre-booked races, and parkrun events. I know this is the last thing I’d have thought of if I had injured myself, and her commitment and passion for our aspirations genuinely overwhelmed me.

On the 22nd May 2022, I took part in my first official 10K race; the ‘Race for life’ in Glasgow, raising much-needed funds for cancer research.

Though Nik couldn’t run with me, she was there to cheer me on. She had facilitated a truly amazing group of supporters and guides, who got me round the course effortlessly, with lots of laughs and incredible mutual support.

I cannot imagine my life without these guides, without the parkrun family and all that they bring to me. Running with guides has boosted my confidence in ways I never thought possible. I’ve made incredible friends and learned so much from each of them. Working with guides has also made me more assertive about asking for help when I need it, and not feeling awkward or guilty about it. I have also learned the reality that in truth, we are all interdependent, and all have talents we can use to guide, care for, and empower one another, just by being who we are.

Saying that, I know my experiences are sadly unique in many ways. I have many visually impaired friends and colleagues who aspire to become runners but often have to miss local parkrun events as there are no volunteers available to run with them. What we have at our Strathclyde run is truly incredible, and I’m so grateful to the organisers, the volunteers, and in particular, those amazing, brave and thoughtful individuals who take time out to run with me and others like me. If you are reading this and have never considered guide running, please do. You don’t need any special training or qualifications. All you need is an open heart, and a willingness to try something new. Trust me, your impact is nothing short of life changing; at least for me, and I’m sure many like me. Thank you for opening my mind to something incredible. Each and everyone of you who have run with me truly are my guiding stars.