My Guiding Stars

Before I even began my running journey I knew that, as a totally blind person, I’d require the assistance of guide runners. I was quite anxious about this and for many years, the idea of requiring a guide really put me off.

My anxieties were partly down to logistics…where would I find guide runners? Would I have to pay for them? Would anyone actually want to run with me? Would we both require training? How much time would that take? If I did find a guide, would they even be willing to match me in my Great North Run ambition?

On top of that, I had some emotional anxieties too. What if I found a guide but we didn’t get along? What if the guide who ran with me was just doing so because they had to, either out of financial necessity, or because parkrun told them to. As blind people, we often experience situations where we require sighted guides. For example, when navigating a train station or a busy airport. This assistance can be very hit and miss. It often doesn’t appear at all even when you book it. When it does show up, those providing it are either significantly over-familiar, wanting to know the ins and outs of your eye condition, or seem rushed, stressed; as though providing this service is the last thing they want to do. For most visually impaired people, we long to find activities we can engage in fully independently without a sense of obligation or duty to anyone.

It was with some trepidation, that I approached parkrun, and began my first run with a sighted guide. As I’ve written here before, I needn’t have worried at all. Guide running has been an incredible blessing in my life and has taught me so much. It was definitely difficult at first but the more I run and experiment with different guides and environments the more I learn. 

You might wonder why the huge 180 degree shift on my part? There are so many reasons. I’m pleased to say that my guide runners turned all of my perceptions on their heads.

The first thing that shocked me was their willingness. As Nik and I have said, parkrun is managed by volunteers, that includes those who guide run. Everyone who has shown up to guide me has done so under their own volition. This humbled me in ways I truly cannot express. People do not have to run with me; they actively choose to. That is incredible.  It instils within me a real sense of accountability too; even on the coldest, wettest days of the Scottish Winter, I knew someone had got out of bed to run with me. They showed up for me so I showed up too.

Guide runners who have run with me have all been different. I admit I did feel nervous about this to begin with but yet again, I was proven so wrong. Running with different people has taught me so much. Some of my guides have been seasoned race runners. They have coached me and given me amazing tips on how to improve my performance with many helping me secure new personal bests (PB).

Some seem nervous of guiding so we start off with quite a slow run. As we both settle into the run, I feel them relax and we both start flying over the track.  It is a beautiful thing to witness.

Some of my guides, just like me, enjoy a good chat and a laugh, and that is our focus as we run. Working with different guides has built my confidence, and has been an amazing way to get to know my wider parkrun community, forming the lasting bonds of friendship.

While I have run with a wide variety of incredible guides, Nik and I have run the most together. We jelled as soon as we met. Having run a few half marathons before, she immediately volunteered to be my guide. She messaging me the very same day to sort out training runs. We knew we were attempting something new and ambitious, and we also knew we’d have to take our guide work to another level.

We are blessed at our home parkrun with an almost uniform track, and as everyone knows us, we get a clear run almost every week, with little to no obstacles.

The Great North Run would not function like that so we signed up for some local races, mostly 10K events, to get me accustomed to the busy nature of a race day. We also began practising on other routes in and around the local park to get me used to roads, traffic, and different types of terrain.

I have definitely found this difficult.  My run often slows as I try to adjust my perception to different sounds, crowds etc. My feet seem to land heavier on new surfaces as I try to explore them, subconsciously working to avoid trip hazards and falls. Working this way has meant Nik and I have had to build up a great deal of trust. I must trust her to tell me what I need to know about the environment to avoid injury. Equally, Nik has to trust me to let her know of anything I’m struggling with, or any information I might need more or less of on unfamiliar terrain. This is a balance we don’t always get right but only through running and practise are we able to fine tune it to work for each of us.

Working in such an intensive way develops a very special bond by default; it has to. There are things Nik knows of me that no one else does. Working so closely means she has seen me at my best, my worst; and my most vulnerable. While some might find that scary, I’ve found it deeply empowering and liberating. When I run, I’m running with a true friend, who knows my strengths, weaknesses, fears and emotional hang-ups. When I’m flagging, Nik knows me well enough to know if I’m genuinely fatigued, or just having a moment of mental doubt. Having this knowledge means she’s been able to coach me from 5 to 10K and beyond, distances I never thought I’d achieve when I began running in October.

When Nik went down with an ankle injury a few weeks ago; I was deeply worried for her; and for our running ambitions; but as ever, she was several steps ahead of me.

Before she even told me of her accident, she had contacted the parkrun family, securing guides to help me with our pre-booked races, and parkrun events. I know this is the last thing I’d have thought of if I had injured myself, and her commitment and passion for our aspirations genuinely overwhelmed me.

On the 22nd May 2022, I took part in my first official 10K race; the ‘Race for life’ in Glasgow, raising much-needed funds for cancer research.

Though Nik couldn’t run with me, she was there to cheer me on. She had facilitated a truly amazing group of supporters and guides, who got me round the course effortlessly, with lots of laughs and incredible mutual support.

I cannot imagine my life without these guides, without the parkrun family and all that they bring to me. Running with guides has boosted my confidence in ways I never thought possible. I’ve made incredible friends and learned so much from each of them. Working with guides has also made me more assertive about asking for help when I need it, and not feeling awkward or guilty about it. I have also learned the reality that in truth, we are all interdependent, and all have talents we can use to guide, care for, and empower one another, just by being who we are.

Saying that, I know my experiences are sadly unique in many ways. I have many visually impaired friends and colleagues who aspire to become runners but often have to miss local parkrun events as there are no volunteers available to run with them. What we have at our Strathclyde run is truly incredible, and I’m so grateful to the organisers, the volunteers, and in particular, those amazing, brave and thoughtful individuals who take time out to run with me and others like me. If you are reading this and have never considered guide running, please do. You don’t need any special training or qualifications. All you need is an open heart, and a willingness to try something new. Trust me, your impact is nothing short of life changing; at least for me, and I’m sure many like me. Thank you for opening my mind to something incredible. Each and everyone of you who have run with me truly are my guiding stars.

Mini goals and disaster

So the ultimate goal is to run the GNR in September but with official events recommencing comes the promise of some medal bling and free t-shirts (all included in the entry fee)! Additionally, the thought of progressing from 5K (3.1 miles) to 21.1K (13.1 miles) can feel quite daunting. We were regularly running more than 5K so entering an official 10K event seemed like a good idea. It would give us a target date for reaching that distance so we could comfortably run and experience the buzz of such events.  I have never run the GNR before; I have heard that the atmosphere is quite incredible. I have run in other official events and can honestly say there is nothing quite like the buzz of the crowds, the entertainment and the encouragement from other participants. 

We entered the Cancer Research Race for Life 10K and the Acorn Trails Woman’s 10K; training was well under way. We had even managed to comfortably run further than 10K a few times so were quietly confident that both these events were manageable. Sadly, the Acorn Trails event was cancelled but the Race for Life was definitely going ahead. 

Then disaster struck; with 2 weeks to go I injured my ankle playing badminton with my wife, Laura. We had only just started playing again and, in pre pandemic form,  Laura was hitting winning and quite spectacular shots on a regular basis. I am convinced she is a former badminton champion or she has a practice court at work. I’m not usually competitive but this day I was a bit tired of losing every point so I turned on competitive mode. In so doing, I damaged tendons in my ankle and was told no running, sport or long shopping trips (genuine NHS advice) for 4 -6 weeks. Yes I am being a big bit dramatic by calling it a disaster; I was so excited to be running an official event with Ruth that it felt like a bit of a disaster to me. I knew that Ruth would be more concerned about my injury than anything else. I also knew, without a shadow of doubt, that one of the parkrun pals would run with Ruth. 

I put out the call to arms and within seconds a plan was formed. I phoned Ruth to let her know what had happened. She was, as expected, more worried about me but she was also delighted that others had offered to guide with her. 

Thankfully, I was able to go and support her and the parkrun pals running the Race for Life. Katie, Gray and I waved Ruth, Isobel, Sam, Karen, Ann M, Mary Anne and Louise off at the start line and saw them cross the finish line. Isobel was guiding with Ruth and Sam on standby just in case. Sam kept us up to date throughout the run with some videos and images of the run. It is Ruth’s story to tell so all I will say is she looked like she was enjoying every bit of it. We were all a bit overcome with emotion watching our friends cross the finish line; first event and longest distance post covid for many of them and Ruth’s first official event completed with ease. I could not be prouder of her and hope she does not under estimate the enormity of her achievement. It was only a few weeks ago she declared that she ‘was not really a runner!’; this being said as she was half way through a 7 mile run. 

Ruth, it is over to you for your story of your first official event. 

First a dream

Walt Disney once said ‘ all our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them’.  During my first guide run with Ruth I learned that her dream was to run the Great North Run (GNR), an iconic half marathon held annually in Newcastle. A half marathon is 21.1 kilometres or, if we’re being traditional, 13.1 miles. It is more than 4 time the distance of a parkrun. Ruth had already taken the first courageous step towards making her dream come true but even I know that training for a half marathon requires more than a 5k run every Saturday. 

I think many of us will admit that the covid-19 pandemic had an impact on our health and wellbeing. In the first lockdown, we were more motivated to be active under the misguided belief that it would not last as long as it did. As restrictions continued and guidance became more confusing the drive to be active diminished; unhealthy habits started forming and before long many of us were complaining about our clothes shrinking in the wash. I fell into this category, I was struggling to get back into running and made every excuse not to go out for a run (too hot, too wet, too late, too Wednesday 🤷‍♀️). Admittedly I am not a huge fan of running on my own and when I run with music I run to the beat. There must be occasions when I look like I’m running in slow motion. My motivation for asking Ruth if she wanted to go for a midweek run was about supporting her to run regularly; the reality is she would be supporting me too. 

As I was driving home from parkrun that day I realised that I had not asked if Ruth had a place or a guide for GNR. Places are allocated by ballot with no guarantee that you’ll be successful. It really is your luck; I know of people who have been very lucky in obtaining a ballot place on their first attempt whilst others have tried several times. I wasn’t sure how guide running in official events worked but I already had a place in the GNR rolled over from the previous year.  Offering to guide with Ruth seemed the most natural suggestion to make. I fully expected her to politely decline; I was pleasantly surprised when she accepted the offer. And so, the plan to make a dream come true was well and truly established. 

An unexpected event

In a previous post I mentioned that I thought many of the volunteer roles required specialist training; this was particularly relevant for the VI guide role. That was until I got chatting to Moira, a member of the Strathclyde parkrun core team, parkrun ambassador, prolific runner and all round wonderful person. She suggested I shadow Ruth running with a guide one week then volunteer to guide with her another time. 

I remember quite distinctly the first time I guided with Ruth. The wind was blowing a hoolie that morning; I seriously considered ditching parkrun for the comfort of a warm bed and a long lie. I had almost convinced myself that fallen trees would block every road from Strathaven to Strathclyde park. I knew I was ‘just’ shadowing so I wasn’t really needed that day. I could definitely just stay in bed but I didn’t; I got up, ready and headed out the door. I genuinely do love parkrun but there are some days I question my sanity and that of everyone else who turns up to run when the weather is at it’s very worst.

As with every Saturday, I spent time before setting off chatting to the parkrun pals; we were probably moaning about the weather as we all huddled together in penguin fashion. Sam was guiding Ruth that morning with Katie and I running alongside. We had our run plan and were confident that everything would be fine. As we approached the 1K marker, Katie started to feel and look unwell. Sam is a paramedic so much more useful in a health emergency than I ever could be. Ruth agreed that I could take over the VI guide role so off we went.  I had absolutely no time to be nervous about guiding for the first time. 

Within seconds we were chatting like old friends, putting the world to rights and running like we had been in this partnership for years. Ruth had run a few parkruns by this point so was familiar and quietly confident with the route. She uses a running tether; a small piece of cloth held by the VI runner and guide. The idea is that it gives the VI runner a bit more independence. Ruth was relatively new to using a tether; when she first started running she linked arms with her guide. She told me that learning about the tether had been a pivotal moment for her; that it was the closest she would ever get to running freely. In that moment it dawned on me that Ruth cannot simply just put on her trainers and go for a run; she will always have to rely on someone to run with her. It was the most humbling moment I have ever experienced.

I am happy to report that Katie made a full recovery and completed her 5K with support from Sam.

Ruth and I chatted and laughed so much that before we knew it we were at the finish line. Another parkrun completed for both of us, a new volunteer experience for me and the beginnings of a beautiful friendship. 

If you are interested in being VI guide with Ruth come and have a chat with us. It truly is a rewarding and humbling experience. 

Strathclyde parkrun - the value of volunteering

I started going to Strathclyde parkrun in 2016 but completing only 7 runs in the first 2 years, I can categorically say my commitment was very questionable. People talk about the parkrun community and it definitely does exist. Strathclyde parkrun is one of the bigger events often hosting over 200 participants; the community feel can get lost amidst such large numbers.  Perhaps that is why I was less committed back then. 

So what changed? Well, I discovered the joy of volunteering. I actually have no idea when it occurred to me that parkrun events across the globe rely on volunteers for events to go ahead.  I know now that it is mentioned every week in the pre run brief so perhaps I was not listening (retrospective apologies to the run directors). Anyway, as soon as I realised this I offered to volunteer; I’m sure my first role was as a marshal because I thought the other roles needed specialist training. It turns out that no specialist training is required, no role is too hard and each brings it’s own rewards. I have found that every person who volunteers has a favourite role. Some enjoy being out on the course encouraging every runner or walker to keep going whilst others enjoy being there at the end to offer a well done or have a chat about conditions that day. 

Through volunteering I learned that a new event at Lanark Moor was soon to join the parkrun family. Prior to a new event’s official start there is a test run so any teething problems with routes/signage etc can be ironed out before the first official event. I offered to be one of the runners testing the route although it is fair to say the route tested me more than I tested it. For some perspective Strathclyde parkrun is one of the flattest routes in the UK, Lanark Moor is definitely not! I have this event to thank for meeting the loveliest fellow parkrunners who have come to be very dear friends.

Had I not started volunteering it is reasonable to say that my participation at parkrun would have continued to be intermittent. Now with only 6 more runs until I reach my 100th parkrun I can’t imagine Saturday mornings without my weekly dose of 5K fun whether it be the run or whatever volunteer role I’m doing that week. More importantly had I not started volunteering I would not have met Ruth but more on that in a later post.

Oh and if you’re interested in volunteering at Strathclyde parkrun please follow this link https://www.parkrun.org.uk/strathclyde/volunteer/  for more information or contact your local parkrun for more information. 

Ruth’s 5 Top Tips for the First Time Runner

  

Both Nik and I started running as complete beginners. Everyone has to start somewhere but that starting point often feels like the most terrifying. Part of our aim with this blog is to show the world that running is for absolutely anyone regardless of age, stage or disability. Like most people considering running I procrastinated and fretted and thought I wasn’t good enough. When I was done with all that, I felt the fear and did it anyway. 

All the same, there is some great advice out there for beginners which definitely did help me. 

In this post I’ll share my 5 top tips. 

 

1. Know you are a runner

This might sound obvious but it took me a while to recognise the mental identification was just as important, if not more, than the actual ‘doing. The moment you decide to run and put one foot in front of the other, you are a runner. It doesn’t matter if you walk, jog, run or do a bit of all 3 as I did in the beginning. See yourself as a runner and commit to that, whether you run once a day or once a week. Identify as the runner you are; show up,  do your best. You really can achieve what you believe.

 

2. Own your runs

In this social media driven world, we all (sighted or not), compare ourselves to the latest Instagram post. We look at Facebook, at fitness coaches and celebrities, or even fellow runners and decide we are not good enough. What we don’t realise is that we only see half of their picture. We don’t know their struggles, their injuries, their emotional battles or how long it took them to get where they are today. Your run is your own, no one else’s.  5K is the same distance whether you walk, jog or run, whether you complete it in 25 minutes or 65.  It is your time, your body and your run; while you are out doing it, there are plenty people who still haven’t left the sofa! So be proud of what you can do. Run for you and don’t compare yourself to others. Sure you can use them as inspiration but never to bring yourself down, runners are a motivating bunch too, so feed on that.

 

3. Find your little wins 

Any regular parkrunner knows that the best part of a Saturday morning parkrun is the coffee afterwards.  It is an essential ritual at most parkruns, and definitely something that keeps me going when I’m having a tired, slow morning. If coffee isn’t your thing, company might be so if it is, join a parkrun, a local gym, a runners club, or just run with friends. Company can motivate, inspire and engage and along with the coffee, a real joy of needing a guide runner is the great chat and friendships I’m able to enjoy on every run with Nik and with others. Finding what motivates you is key to a successful training schedule but to most things in life. While some of you might indeed prefer to run on your own, just knowing there is a coffee, a cake, a hot bath waiting at the finish can be the magic force that spurs you forward; find that and make it work for you.

 

4. Remember to breathe.

When I began practising yoga 5 years ago, the above was a mantra my teachers told me over and over again. I thought they were crazy until I realised just how little I breathed. it’s true…stop for a moment and inhale deeply, fill your lungs with air, pause for a moment, and then exhale all the air out again. Now go back to reading this blog. Give yourself a moment and then check in with your breath, are you still breathing deeply? When you run, every cell of your being needs oxygen to fuel you forward. Lots has been written about how to breathe while running, through the nose, through the mouth or a bit of both. Not being a medical professional I can’t give specific qualified advice on this and everyone has personal preferences based on body type and medical conditions. Ultimately, the important thing is to breathe deep and mindfully. If you feel your breaths are shallow or laboured, you probably need to slow down to a gentle run or even walk, to regulate your breath, before beginning again. When I started running, I followed a 2-minute run, 1 minute walk pattern, which is fantastic for building up stamina and helping to stabilise the breath. If you run with a friend, a bit of light chat helps with this too. Some people might advise against this but I find it helpful. If I am losing the ability to chat to Nic, it usually means I’m either running to fast or breathing too little, and need to slow and regulate again. Find your own flow in this space in whatever way helps you to breathe.

 

5. Don’t give up

If you have a bad run, if you get injured or if the weather is bad its easy to throw in the towel. Easy to think you’ll never be as good as the runner who finished in front of you and it is so easy to stop. Though you might not realise it, you will be making progress all the time even if only by taking seconds off your time. When I joined parkrun, I set up a spreadsheet. I logged my times and after a couple of months I reviewed them. I was shocked to notice I was taking a minute or 2 off my time each month I ran and this became a great motivator. 

Being fast isn’t always an indicator of progress though. Showing up is the best commitment you can make to yourself, being dedicated and consistent. If you get injured, you can still show up to a parkrun to volunteer, to cheer on other runners, or walk the route if you are up to it. Keep connected to your tribe and hold on to your self belief. Resilience is what keeps you strong, on and off the track, so build that through every step, show up for yourself, and that spirit of showing up will make it easier to face the challenges, and when this running spirit fuels your life off the track, you know its truly working or you!

 

I hope these tips help you to make a start; and above all, to keep running

parkrun and beyond - Ruth’s story

In our introduction, I said that my running journey began on my sofa. That is partly true, but its not the whole story. I first ran when I was 9 years old, at a school sports day. I’d been practising every lunchtime, running on a grassy patch behind our school with the guidance of a friend who was 1 year older; and with a little more eyesight than I had.

 

Despite attending a school for the blind during my early childhood, there were definitely a number of years during which I did not register the fact I had no sight, or what that would mean for me, and this manifest strongly when I ran. I eventually gave up the sighted guide; I didn’t need it. I knew the grassy patch like the back of my hand, It was flanked by hedges and trees and if I fell; I had a soft landing on the grass. I loved the free running, the air rushing over me and through my flowing hair. When I ran I thought of nothing, was present in the moment and lost in the liberated movement.

Fast-forward to the sports day, I ran and ran. I knew I could win this race, I ran hard and heard parents and kids cheering me. Suddenly the cheers sounded far away and I wondered if I’d done something wrong? But I kept running, I ran and ran, till the grass ran out and I was on the hard ground of the carpark. I’d never come this far before and was considering whether to keep going or retrace my steps, when I was grabbed by a teacher. “Why did you do that? You ran too far, you are disqualified”.

 

Can you disqualify a 9-year-old? Moreover, does running too far, too fast, over the finish line count as disqualification? Of course, these are all things I can rationalise as an older, not necessarily wiser adult, but at the time, I felt crushed. In my mind, I’d failed at running. I’d failed due to my blindness and didn’t run again.

 

Over the years, I sometimes remembered that rush and how good it felt, and I even e-mailed British Blind Sport a few times in my 20s, to find out about running guides but they never responded; I considered it not to be in my fate. In the 80s and 90s, disability sport was not the cool, fashionable activity it is now, becoming an athlete or simply running for pleasure were not encouraged, hence my disqualification.

 

Fast-forward to 2020 and the Covid pandemic;  my life as a blind person was turned upside down. Forget running, I couldn’t even walk! Staff refused to serve me in shops due to my inability to maintain social distance and requiring assistance. I was working from home, dependent on friends and family for basic necessities. I felt trapped, insecure and restricted. This is why my sofa moment while watching the Great North Run stood out so much. This time, I was going to move, run, and reclaim something I’d started, but not finished, at aged 9.

 

I began asking around for running guides but was getting nowhere until a friend of mine told me about parkrun and how they could offer a volunteer guide. parkrun had a weekly event just minutes from my home, this sounded perfect. I sent an e-mail to Strathclyde parkrun curious about whether I would receive a reply. When I first received an e-mail from run director, Moira, I thought she had misunderstood. She was so open, friendly and inclusive. She told me just to come along, whenever I wanted, and I would be provided with a guide. There was no fee, no risk assessments, no awkward questions, no drama- did she understand that I could not see? The only stipulation given was that I register with parkrun and bring my barcode.  I asked my husband to drop me off for my first event and perhaps wait around for me. I fully expected them to register I was new to running and totally blind, before promptly sending me home. I couldn’t have been more wrong!

 

I was welcomed by Moira and countless others. My guide volunteer that week, Peter, is a beautiful soul who welcomed me and quickly sent my husband away saying he’d drop me home afterwards. Though Peter was an extremely accomplished runner, he was patient, supportive and encouraging of my efforts. Despite a slight wardrobe malfunction (always wear drawstring leggings!), I had an absolutely amazing time. 

 

Peter became a friend, as did so many at parkrun over the weeks to come. Running slipped into coffee and laughs with so many after my runs. When I’d talk about parkrun to friends and family I’d become emotional. Never had I been part of such an inclusive community, where sight loss was no barrier, where I just had to be me and have fun. Everyone encouraged me, from the elite super-fast runners to the complete beginners, and many of them offered to run with me in the great North Run if I was still serious about participating. 

 

Nicola (aka Nik ) was one of a group of volunteers who offered to guide run with me. She had never done it before so we agreed she would run along-side me and my guide that week to see what was involved. As fate would have it, a fellow runner became unwell and my guide had to stop and assist. Nik took over at a moment’s notice not that it showed. We ran like we’d been doing it forever and we just clicked! There was so much to say, share and laugh about and so little time. Like so many others, Nik offered to guide with me at the Great North Run. I felt we’d be a perfect match but I didn’t want to push her into it. I was concerned that she was just being kind. One Saturday afternoon after parkrun, she sent me a message to see when I’d like to start doing training runs for the Great North.  That’s when I knew she meant business and that was where our partnership was born.

 

In coming posts, I’ll talk about how we began working together, the practicalities of guiding and being guided, and the amazing fun we have doing the things we love.